The temple on the hill

All the foliage has fallen from the trees and the branches are bare, exposing to view. . . in the cold and dreary days ahead . . . the temple on the hill." Nauvoo, IL. ~ (Photo credit and quote: Sharon Cohen)

I usually try to keep my blog lighthearted with general updates about my family but I saw this picture and quote on Facebook today and I thought it summed up how I've been feeling lately. As a child, teenager, and even young adult my testimony came so easy for me. Over the past few years, we've had our share of trials and challenges. But the past few months have really been rough. I never thought that I would have my testimony shaken and feel like Heavenly Father had given me more than I could handle. My heart has been broken watching my husband try so hard to find a job to support our family, watching my kids struggle to understand why they left their friends, schools, most of their belongings are in storage, and even their dog, and trying to understand why I will never be blessed to have another child born to our family. I've been angry and incredibly sad. I've even questioned my testimony.
Earlier this week, one of my friends, invited me to go to the temple. I've known for a while that I should go to the temple but I've become good at fighting those feelings but I finally broke down and went. I didn't have an overwhelming spiritual experience but I did feel the sweet simple peace from the Spirit that has been absent from my life. It was what I needed to wake me up.
I have a journal that I keep to write down insights and promptings. I was reading through it and I came across something I wrote in 2009. "You have to be willing to go through whatever the Lord has in store for you in order for you to receive the answers you are seeking through prayer" I was reminded as I went to the temple that Heavenly Father knows and understands the bigger picture and that He is mindful of our family and our needs. It's amazing the peace and blessings that can come from the temple.